How many times in your life do you come to a fork that is life-changing? Where everything is measured by “before X” or “after X”? It doesn’t happen often. A family death, your or your parents’ divorce, first-time parenthood, a big financial gain/loss, or a major medical diagnosis qualify as “life-changing.”
I had an “X event” a few weeks ago. On the other end of my phone a doctor was informing me that I had Type 2 diabetes.
Maybe there was some mistake; maybe he was looking at another patient’s lab results. There is no way my blood glucose level could be 199. Not me. I exercise a LOT, eat wisely, don’t have a sweet tooth, have zero extra fat, and am in general in fabulous health. This news DID, however, make sense of my odd symptoms [polyuria, polydipsia, extreme fatigue], but it sounded surreal as the words fell on my ears.
And for days afterward.
What do you mean, I can’t eat whatever I want? I want mint chocolate chip ice cream. What do you mean, I’m at a way higher risk of heart disease? My blood pressure’s always been 110/60 and cholesterol normal. What do you mean, I have to take this pill for the rest of my life? I never take pills.
It felt like a cruel joke.
Everything was out of sorts — physically, mentally, emotionally. After a week or so I had a day where I shook my fist in God’s face and told him in no uncertain terms that I was pretty angry about the whole deal. His response? The most loving tender embrace, with whispered assurances that he knew what I was going through and would never abandon me to walk through it alone. My heart melted.
I’m on a new adventure. Reading, changing my diet, learning how my body responds to a new med, calibrating my activity level to how I’m feeling. It’s not good, not bad, just different. I’ll be fine. Really. Now, if only I could get that Swiss Chard to taste good…